whoa!

It has been waaaay too long since I wrote all of my captivating and moving words down on this blog.  I'm sure the two people that read it have been holding their breath, waiting patiently as I got my act together.  All jokes, obviously!  The truth is the last six months have been so hard and trying I found no motivation to type a single word about it.  I was in hibernation.  

We moved into my parents house early October, I found out we were pregnant and we had a two year old that we had to share a room with.  I was sicker than sick, we didn't have a home and Quinne was a terrible two year old.  Or should I say she was a really good one?  After almost five months living in my parents home we moved into the fixer-upper we bought.  (At that point anything would be better than living with my parents.  Im grateful for them opening up their home to us, but it was a bad situation to be in for me.)

So now we are living in a consturction zone, no kitchen no living room and one tiny bathroom.  Its crazy town over here!  I'm truly impressed with myself and the fact that I haven't ended up in a hospital full of pregnancy safe meds.  It has been so difficult and challenging for all of us.  David and I rarely get time alone which is really really hard for me.  And poor Quinne lives with drywall dust and nails surrounding her at all times.  Thank goodness she in a resiliant little person and hopefully will never remember how crazy her mommy was during all this!

The other night David asked if I was excited to have life go back to normal so I could do the things I love like blogging.  I thought about all the things I'm excited for.  Not eating every meal with the microwave involved, and having a couch to veg out on while my body expands in every direction.  And, ya I missed blogging!  But I don't need a clean and put together house to do that.  I was happy he brought it up because I have missed sharing what's going on in our lives to the tiny handful of readers.  Writing is fun for me and I want to remember this time.  Even though it's been hellish.

Hello internet world!  I'm back(?)

Love 
Noelle

2 minutes

Two years ago, from this exact moment that I write, Quinne was born into this world.  It was the greatest thing I've ever accomplished and I'm thankful for her each and every day.  There are days when I feel so run down and can't bare another meltdown or hysterical toddler.  And there are days when I am so overwhelmed with love it physically hurts.  Most of the time it's the latter of the two (thank god!)  and I count myself extremely blessed.

Quinne is are amazing.  Seriously, she is the coolest little person I know.  (Of course I am bias, but in all seriousness she is so cool. )  Her sense of humor is hysterical for someone so new to the world of comedy.  Any question you ask the answer will be a simple 'sure'.  And coming from her croaky little voice it's hysterical.  She talks about tooting all the time.  Yelling across the table to MoMo that she tooted.  If you ask her how old she is her response is a silly 'two minutes!'.  It's so funny I die all day long.  If she were a real life version of the Truman Show people would flip.  Obviously, we would be her parents and life wouldn't be in a giant fake moon.  I just really think people would get a kick out of her adorableness.  Ok.  I'll stop now, it's late and I'm ridiculously tired.  

Quinne We Love You!!!!  I hope you know that.  From the deepest most bottom places of out hearts, we love you.

Happy Birthday! 

boxes and fall

Thank goodness October is here!  I can start baking and eating everything pumpkin!  And hopefully we get some cool fall weather over here.  I want to bundle and feel that brisk air.  

Life is crazy.  And we are just doing what we can to stay sane, calm and collected.  David's way better at that than me.  But all in all it's moving along.  My friend Erin came over yesterday and encouraged me that it wasn't as big of a disaster as I was making it out to be (And that I wasn't as big of a disaster as I thought I was!).  Sometimes you just need someone to remind you that things are good and it will all be fine in the end.  And that I am so grateful for!

I can hear Quinne calling my name from her room.  Not mommy, but my actual name.  (I wish computers could do emojis.  They really bring home my feelings and express what I'm thinking all on that little yellow face)

It's almost Friday!  Woo!!!

Love,
Noelle

Living in escrow

As of right now we have to be out of our house by October 22.  That's in less than a month!! And I'm stressed to the max.  Our house went on the market last Thursday and papers were signed the next Monday.  To say it went fast is the understatement of the year.  I spent the last few days in shock and total confusion of where to start.  How in the world am I supposed to pack up a whole house, work, and take care of Quinne in this small window of time?! 

My life is consumed by Americanos and boxes.  Quinne tearing through piles I make and basically making packing impossible.  Finding old  pictures, letters and memories that leave me a sentimental blob on the floor, in a bigger mess than when I started.  Let's just say I'm going to be happy when this is all over.  And then really sad because it means its all over.

another day at the beach

Indian summers, how we love you so.

Love,
Noelle

Three years

On Wednesday we celebrated our wedding anniversary!  Three years has really flown by.  It has been long during some parts and a blink of an eye in others.  We have had so many ups and downs but through it all we have loved each other.  And more importantly, we like each other so much.  We love the company and the laughs we share together.  We are in it together and I'm comforted by that each and every day.

I love you David.  I really really do and I'm so excited to see what this next year brings.  Now take me back to Barbados! 

selling & tears

It is official, we are selling our home.  This has been something that David and I have been talking about for a really long time and now that it is here I'm overwhelmed with emotions.  Imagine that.  

Our house is so great.  It is spacious, roomy and always open to our friends and family.  I met this house before David and I were together and have so many good good memories.  The only downside is the area that the house lives in.  We are on a really busy street and that I hate.  We have so many people walking by all day long and most of them look on the suspicious side.  I won't miss the loud sirens or the Big Gulp cups in our yard that's for sure.  If only we could magically transport the house to another part of town!  

Here's where the tears come in.  I've been bitching about this place for so long and now that there's a for sale sign planted in our front yard I'm extremely sad about moving.  On Thursday we had our first showing and I got a text from David saying it was happening at work.  I couldn't help the tears that were streaming down my face.  Having someone in my home inspecting it was too much.  We've put so much thought and work into this place.  Offering it up to the public to scrutinize and pick apart is so hard to do.  Imagining someone else making memories here is so hard to swallow.  But, I know it's for the best.  It's for Quinne, it's for our family and that is all that matters.  I want her to grow up being able to play in the yard without me being a hawk, thinking everyone that walks by might come back a steal her ( that is a real life thought I've had, call me crazy).  I want to feel safe and know my neighbors when David is out of town.  And we want Quinne to be in a school district we are proud to send her to.

I know that this is an amazing opportunity and look forward to the future.  I just have to allow myself to feel the  emotions and process this how I need to.  It is after all just a house and as long as our family is together that is all that counts at the end of the day.