Friday, May 18, 2012


More often than not I don't 'feel' like a mom.  Maybe there is a moment when you look at yourself in the mirror and the person looking back is wiser and stronger from being a mom.  Maybe not.  But sometimes when I'm out and about I see my reflection and in my crazy nonstop mind I think "weird you have a baby.  A BABY!!"  Is that totally nuts?  Don't answer that.  
The other day I dropped Quinne off at the childcare room at the gym.  Something I started doing about a month ago and still get nervous she will be ignored or start chewing on some random babies pacifier.  But I have to push that worry away because it will do nobody any good.  And, sometimes going to the gym is my only break in the day.  How exciting!  Back to this particular day, the lady that was on shift was a rotten old lady who had no business watching more that one baby at a time by herself.  She could barley move to get out of the rocking chair.  And she never once smiled.  Why on earth would you willingly sign up for the kids club if you don't love kiddos?  Anyways, I explained that Quinne is teething pretty bad and is a little sad about it.  I left her with her pacifier, frozen teether and my number incase she was really cranky.  An hour later my class was done and no calls were made.  Yay!  I walked my sweaty tired self to the room where I left her and before I got to the door I could hear her screaming.  Bloody murder screaming.  My heart dropped.  I felt so sad for her and mad at that lady all in the same second.  I picked her out of her arms and held her tight, trying to calm her down.  I asked if they(at this point there was another older lady there, equally as unfriendly) tried her pacifier and the second lady said all us 'young people rely on that thing too much'.  Hmm.  So I ignored her totally inappropriate comment and went about collecting our things.  As I was about to leave she told me that I really should feed her before we get in the car.  Again I just smiled and said she'll be ok.  Just when I thought I could escape she informs me that I should be giving her food and that she fed her goldfish crackers.  What the?!?  Quinne is SEVEN months old!!!  I saw red.  I imagined her choking on those crackers and I wanted to barf then scream at her.  I am timid and would rather seethe inside for a bit than ever speak up.  A horrible quality that I am working on.  Today was no different.  I wish that I was writing about my victory in standing up for myself but I am not.  I left mad and dwelling on the stupid incident for far too long asking out loud "how dare she?!?".  I have a lot to learn and I want to be stronger for myself and for my family.  I just hope that I will learn from this situation.  I want to protect Quinne from everything, and I know that won't always be possible.  But for all the little things that I feel uncomfortable about, and don't want to happen I want to find the strength to say what I need to say.  
Writing this out I feel sort of dumb.  Why can't I be stronger?  And then I remember my mom telling me that it will come in good time, and always trust my motherly instinct.  Because it will always be right.  

Happy Friday!


  1. WOW. I cannot believe the audacity of that woman. Is there someone you can complain to? I am getting mad just thinking about this!!!!

    Sometimes when confronted with situations like this I don't stick up for myself and I regret it. Then sometimes I DO stick up for myself and regret what I said. Don't be hard on yourself! :)

  2. These women were totally out of line and should not be in any type of childcare.The pacifier comment was inappropriate enough, but to talk to you about feeding Quinne and giving her crackers-!?!?!?!? No one should ever talk to a Mom like that; ESPECIALLY when they don't even know you and Quinne and she was only there an hour! As it is, I would have handled the situation exactly as you did. Saying something to them would probably not had much effect on these ladies since they sound pretty self-righteous. You are a great Mom and you know how to take care of Quinne.

  3. Aw. I don't have it in me to stand up for myself either. Um, you're the mama, not the mean old lady, so if you want to give her a pacifier or not feed her before you leave or NOT give her goldfish (WHAT THE WHAT??) that is your decision. Standing up for yourself is so hard even when the party in question deserves to have their head snapped off for making some incredibly rude statement.

  4. I am so mad this happened to you and Quinne!!!!!!! I know for a fact that if Quinne was choking or having a reaction to those stupid goldfish you would have said something. When emergency strikes you become a different person. But if I were you I would call and complain to the manager. That lady should not be feeding babies ANYTHING!