Thursday, May 31, 2012

another one bites the dust

I can't believe another month has slipped through my fingertips.  Painted fingertips mind you.  May has been so good to us and I'm sad to say goodbye so soon.
We have been blessed with almost two weeks of sleep and I'm beside myself with happiness.  I had forgotten what it feels like to wake up and not want to sob from being so tired and frustrated.  Never take for granted sleep my friends!  It's a wonderful thing.
And my sweet sweet Quinne where do I begin.  This week I found myself falling more and more in love with you by the minute.  I miss you terribly when I have to leave for work and pack my bags up so fast to rush home and love on you.  Lately I have really been thinking about staying home with you.  Nothing has been discussed I just think about it more and more these days.  I don't want to miss a single moment with you.  If you take your first step without me I could possibly jump off a cliff.  Just thinking of you doing things without me by your side makes me hurt deep down in my heart.  Can I please go to college with you?  I'm serious.

So thank you May for being so nice and tell your buddy June to follow in your footsteps.  Im excited to see what mysteries are in store for us!  

Happy June my dear friends!

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

pearly whites

If it weren't for teething I would have to say that life is perfect right now.  I know that's quite a statement but we have been through a lot in the last seven months so I think I'm allowed a little bragging rights.  It'll probably come around and bite me in the arse, but I'll deal with that later...
Teething is the worst!  It's so sad and miserable for Quinne I feel awful for her.  How do you tell your almost eight month old that everyone goes through this and you will survive?  I'm having a hard time getting through to her, but hopefully these little whites will break soon.  I'm having a hard time telling if they are really almost there.  Her gums always have a hint of white to them and in my mind baby gums always seem to be swollen.  She is chewing on everything, as you can see, and I'm taking that as an indicator that somethings happening under those gums.  I just want her to feel better.
In case you are going through this or will be soon I found that these work really well.  Quinne loves to munch on ice that I have broken up for her and frozen fruit.  Mangos especially!  But I'm warning you that bananas make a super big mess and turn the mesh into a hideous black disaster.  You've been warned.    

Sunday, May 27, 2012

no socks for baby

our favorite Zorros breakfast

i will be bald in no time


warm backyard days

Santa Barbara with grandma and auntie

Isn't it funny how a week can tiptoe and speed race by all at the same time?  I feel like this week was one of those.  I was pooped out most evenings and didn't want to do anything but drink tea and read.  Hopefully this next week I get more energy.  Quinne is becoming such a little lady.  I love spending time with her.  I can't kiss her chubby face enough!  I hope everyone is enjoying a fun Memorial Day weekend!  


Monday, May 21, 2012

dreams do come true

Being a parent you sacrifice a lot.  Some things are easier than others.  Sleep was one of those really hard things for me to give up.  I wrote about our sleep situation here.  It took us a long time to get to where we are today, but I'm happy to write that things are so much better!  

At Quinnes six month check up our doctor said that around this time in a babes life they don't have to nurse during the night.  Or bottle feed, whatever you decide to do.  I was a little apprehensive about putting a stop in her nightly feedings.  But at that point she only ate maybe two times but was up a whole lot more.  I waited until she was a little over seven months and was ready to try.  Whenever she woke up she barley ate anything and wanted to socialize more than eat.  Super annoying.  I would try and force my boob in her face and she would turn away and stick her tongue out and spit everywhere or start crying.  I was half asleep and got so frustrated.  So it was time.  I talked with David and he was on board to try.  So for the next few days David was going into her room when she cried to put the pacifier back in her mouth and re-swaddle her.  After a while we started taking turns going in to re-swaddle because she would break free every two hours.  Quinne was a magician in that swaddle.  She could wiggle her way out in a few seconds no matter how tight you wrapped her.  It was bad. Sleep was worst than ever and I, of course was having meltdowns left and right.  
Last Monday we made a decision to stop swaddling her.  I think she was trying to tell us that for two weeks, sorry Quinne.  I knew this day would come.  I mean I never expected her to go to summer camp and get swaddled, but I thought she would be in that mummy wrap for a bit longer.  I really thought that she needed it to fall asleep and stay asleep.  Obviously the 'staying' part wasn't really working anymore.  It was weird that first night nursing her and just laying her down with her lovie and leaving the room.  I didn't have to pin her arms down and straight jacket her like she was in an institution.  We left her door open a crack so I could make sure she wasn't going to suffocate herself(and so I could watch how cute she was rolling around).  This no swaddle thing was a new experience for her and she took full advantage of the space in front of her.  She would roll all over and grab her toes and just have a grand time.   After about five minutes she was settling in and drifting off.  Amazing!!!  I never though this day would come.  Not every night is the same and she is still figuring it all out but I know we are on the right track.  It feels so good knowing we are doing the right thing for our baby.

Feeling well rested is so so very good.  And important.  I'm happy to say that there is sleep happening in this house.  Now I have to go sew some bumpers for her crib.  I know I know!  I never made them because well she was in our room, and then mummified for so many months.  And hearing her bump her head is so sad.  Poor Quinney I'm sorry!  

Thanks for stopping by!

Friday, May 18, 2012


More often than not I don't 'feel' like a mom.  Maybe there is a moment when you look at yourself in the mirror and the person looking back is wiser and stronger from being a mom.  Maybe not.  But sometimes when I'm out and about I see my reflection and in my crazy nonstop mind I think "weird you have a baby.  A BABY!!"  Is that totally nuts?  Don't answer that.  
The other day I dropped Quinne off at the childcare room at the gym.  Something I started doing about a month ago and still get nervous she will be ignored or start chewing on some random babies pacifier.  But I have to push that worry away because it will do nobody any good.  And, sometimes going to the gym is my only break in the day.  How exciting!  Back to this particular day, the lady that was on shift was a rotten old lady who had no business watching more that one baby at a time by herself.  She could barley move to get out of the rocking chair.  And she never once smiled.  Why on earth would you willingly sign up for the kids club if you don't love kiddos?  Anyways, I explained that Quinne is teething pretty bad and is a little sad about it.  I left her with her pacifier, frozen teether and my number incase she was really cranky.  An hour later my class was done and no calls were made.  Yay!  I walked my sweaty tired self to the room where I left her and before I got to the door I could hear her screaming.  Bloody murder screaming.  My heart dropped.  I felt so sad for her and mad at that lady all in the same second.  I picked her out of her arms and held her tight, trying to calm her down.  I asked if they(at this point there was another older lady there, equally as unfriendly) tried her pacifier and the second lady said all us 'young people rely on that thing too much'.  Hmm.  So I ignored her totally inappropriate comment and went about collecting our things.  As I was about to leave she told me that I really should feed her before we get in the car.  Again I just smiled and said she'll be ok.  Just when I thought I could escape she informs me that I should be giving her food and that she fed her goldfish crackers.  What the?!?  Quinne is SEVEN months old!!!  I saw red.  I imagined her choking on those crackers and I wanted to barf then scream at her.  I am timid and would rather seethe inside for a bit than ever speak up.  A horrible quality that I am working on.  Today was no different.  I wish that I was writing about my victory in standing up for myself but I am not.  I left mad and dwelling on the stupid incident for far too long asking out loud "how dare she?!?".  I have a lot to learn and I want to be stronger for myself and for my family.  I just hope that I will learn from this situation.  I want to protect Quinne from everything, and I know that won't always be possible.  But for all the little things that I feel uncomfortable about, and don't want to happen I want to find the strength to say what I need to say.  
Writing this out I feel sort of dumb.  Why can't I be stronger?  And then I remember my mom telling me that it will come in good time, and always trust my motherly instinct.  Because it will always be right.  

Happy Friday!

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

pretty pairings

Making your own baby food is so easy, and in my opinion fun.  I am scared of the jared baby foods that have a shelf life of three years.  What the heck is in those little jars that makes the food "fresh" for three years?  I'm not buying it.  So I have decided to make all of Quinnes food.  It's healthy and I know just what is going into her tummy.  She has just started to show a real interest in food.  We tried around five and a half months and would only get four bites down.  So I didn't push it.  And then she had a cold for about eleven days and wanted nothing but me or a bottle.  Now that she is feeling better we have started a regular routine of breakfast, a mini lunch and dinner.  We have so much fun feeding her these new flavors.  She is so silly and entertaining to watch.  I just love it!  And you can freeze this food up to 3 weeks.  You're making it in bulk and that will really save time, money and your sanity.

I made some of Quinnes favorites the other day while she napped, without a swaddle(gasp!!!).  More on that soon!  So I hope these fun pairings help you if you are in a rut or just want to venture into homemade baby food.  But I know there are times when you don't even have time to brush your teeth, let alone make baby food.  Am I the only one who forgets to brush her teeth and realizes it at the grocery store?  Aaahhh!!  So, for those times I really like these pre-made foods that contain nothing but real, no sugar added ingredients.  They are handy and perfect for on the go times.  Yum.  

Happy eatings!


Monday, May 14, 2012

our weekend

this is for S.O.S. over at harpers happenings
 sweater and trousers:Anthropologie/ heels: UO/ clutch:thrifted/ necklace:elladolce /glasses: Oliver Peoples
margarita time
wine time
I forgot how to walk in heels since having Quinne :(
loving grandma

enjoying grass and sun
auntie, mama, and grandma
I love my mom.  And Quinne is a ghost.

We had a busy weekend.  David and my dad worked hard on our baseboards all day Saturday while I was at work.  I don't fully understand how long these(in my mind "simple") projects take.  In my mind I was going to come home to a fully baseboarded house.  Well, it's not even close to being done and my dad laughed at me when I realized what a time consuming project we got ourselves into.  Instant gratification is one of my many, many weaknesses.  Oh well.  At least we got to go on a date to Ventana and eat really delicious food.  And of course drink really delicious adult beverages.  

Mothers Day we spent relaxing at my parents house.  Quinne loves it there.  And she actually takes long naps in her room at grandma and grandpas.  Yep, they gave her my sisters old room.  Fully furnished with a crib and changing table.  My mom is the cutest!  Then we headed to San Luis for a dinner with Davids family and my day came crashing down on me.  Going out to dinner is not easy with Quinne.  Doing anything after 5 in the evening is a challenge for her and me.  She is cranky and therefore I'm a nervous wreck.  At home it's a much different story and I find comfort in her nightly routine.  So does she.  I thrive on a schedule and consistency.  I'm not a drill sergeant or anything like that, but I do like to stick with the same nightly routine.  We work up to her bedtime slowly enjoying baths, reading books, and rocking in the chair.  When we go to dinner we end up with a crying baby and me rushing to get her in jammies and nursed.  Last night was no exception.  I brought food, toys, books, keys, everything to keep her entertained.  It was a nightmare.  I couldn't eat anything and we ended up leaving early, sobbing as I gathered her things and said bye.  I was embarrassed that I couldn't keep my shiz together.  That seven months later I still have anxiety and nerves that cause me to breakdown in restaurants.  It's beyond frustrating.  
I was able to calm down to put her to bed.  Nursing and rocking her always makes me feel better.  Just us two, in the quiet of the night.  I cherish those moments and hope they don't leave me too soon. 
My night ended with a frozen burrito and reading in bed.  

Happy Monday!

Sunday, May 13, 2012

a happy mama

I never knew that I could love so much.  I never knew what an achy heart felt like until I met Quinne.  In the seven short months of knowing her I have fallen madly in love with this tiny person.  I cannot imagine a day not seeing her beautiful face, or holding her close to me.  My life is forever changed.  Quinne has turned me into a mom.  I get to be the person who is going to sing her to sleep and make sure she is warm at night.  The person who will kiss her boo boos and have fancy tea parties with her.  How did I ever get so lucky?  

Tonight, on my first Mothers Day, as I was nursing her I was so overcome by love and happiness.  I want to give her the best life possible.  I'm finding it hard to express in words the amount of love that was flowing through my veins.  It's a huge love that will only deepen with each passing day.  

I'm so honored to be your mom Quinne.  I'm honored that I get to teach you how to be a kind and true person.  That I get to introduce you to this beautiful world and protect you from the things that are not so good.  I can't wait to put your first tooth under your pillow for the tooth fairy and be your get away car for adventures.  We are going to have so much fun baby girl and I'm so excited to share my life with you.  Thank you for being the best gift in life.  


Friday, May 11, 2012

7 month update

growing baby:  19 pounds
                             26 inches long

hobbies:  sit up all by yourself(!!)
                  a lot of talking going on these days
                  eating more and more foods
                  being out and about during the day
                  making funny faces with mama and daddy
How in the world are you closer to being one than a newborn?!  My mind cannot wrap around this truth.  The other day I was asked what theme her first birthday party will be.  What the what??  That is way too much for me to handle right now.  I'm almost positive I'll be running around like a crazy chicken the week before her birthday.  So, let's not start the panic quite yet.  Quinne has really been a fun, silly baby lately.  I enjoy being around her so much.  Everyday tasks don't send me into sweaty armpit territory.  But I still end up there a few times a week.  Oh well, I've learned to embrace it.  My favorite thing is watching her figure our her tongue and voice.  It's a huge dose of cuteness watching her stick her tongue out and blowing hard, making a drooling mess everywhere.  I could stare at her all day long.  She's especially vocal in the car.  I wonder what she has so much to talk about in that seat of hers.  We have one of those mommy mirrors and I'm convinced I'm going to run off the road one of these days from staring into the rear view mirror at her.  She's just way too cute.  I must stare.  

I'm looking forward to our future with Quinne more and more each passing day.  We talk about things that she will do and wonder who she will be.  It's so fun and fulfilling.  I'm excited to see what this next month brings our way.  

Love you Quinne,
Your mama