Monday, December 31, 2012

goodbye year 2012

Everyone always says it, myself included, ' I can't believe this year is over'.  Something about December flying by and having so many activities gives me the illusion that time is really going fast, but during the year I sometimes feel like it is inching by taking its sweet ass time and making me crazy.  This past year I have had so many tests, and trials that I wished it would be over on many occasions.  But I also had moments were I wished that time would completely stop and I could live in that moment forever.  It was a trying and difficult year.  I battled with postpartum depression, sleepless nights for months and months, and an overall overwhelming year.  It had beautiful moments that I will cherish forever, but I spent most of the year sad, and depressed.  Pretty crappy you might think, but I learned a whole lot that will help me be a better person in the long run.  And hopefully I will have stories and lessons to share with women who are going through what I went through.  That is my prayer and hope entering into 2013.

I never make new years resolutions.  Mainly because they will be broken within two weeks of me making them, and who wants to feel like a loser this early in the new year?  So I'm making goals for me and my family.  It's refreshing to look at your life and try to better the areas that need fixing.  A few things that have been on my heart and mind are these:

- find moments each day to be alone and breath.  Sounds weird and Yogi-ish, but I need to take time to calm down and relax.  I've developed an anxiety issue and tend to panic over the littlest of things.  I want to heal and learn to let go of my worry and anxiety this year.

- practice patience.  I have a tiny bit of patience and it totally has been shown to me this year just how much I lack in this area of my life.  Towards David, Quinne and pretty much everyone on the road at the same time as me.  

- I have a huge weight on my heart towards people in need and want to open my life and time to those who need it most.  

- make being active a bigger part of my life, and Davids as well.  I know I can't make him exercise, but I want to start doing more things together as a family.  

- pray more.

- enjoy all the days, moments, opportunities that come my way and learn to see the joy in everything.  

I hope this new year brings a fresh start to everyone.  There is so much hurt and anger and bad in the world today.  But there is also so much beauty and kindness.  I want to focus on the latter and teach Quinne that there is reason to fight for a better tomorrow.  It starts at home, in my heart.  And I'm really looking forward to the next year to come!  



No comments:

Post a Comment